By sharing these things, I rip my heart out

wow wish I wasn't so stupid

2007-11-22T22:44:15Z

You wont be his first, his last, or his only.
He has loved before & will love again ..
BUT if he loves you now, what else matters?
He's not perfect & neither are you,
and the two of you will never be perfect.
but if he makes you laugh at least once,
causes you to think twice,
& admits to being human and making mistakes.. hold on to him
and give him all that you got.

He's not going to quote poems,
he's not going to be thinking of you every moment,
But he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break.
Don't hurt him, don't change him, don't expect too much from him.
Smile when he makes you happy,
cry when he makes you sad,
& miss him when he is gone..

I have something to saaaaay

2006-08-01T07:19:32Z

venting about my stupid pointless thoughts..

I just wonder this sometimes and wanted to get it off of my chest ..

When someone really likes a boy or a girl and they can't have them it usually goes like this..
Selfishly, they cry over the fact that they can't have them and can't stand the fac that they are not the one that is making them happy.
when really they should be acting Selfless, and they should do anything and everything to make them happy, even if that means not being a big or small part of their life

That's one example. I have others but I don't feel I have the need to explain myself in a stupid online journal. And don't think that this entry is directed towards anybody I was just ranting about stupid shit cause it's like 3am and i'm bored and wide awak

I hate the fact that about 99.9% of the world uses the word "love" so lightly. People should know that love is beyond relationships as well. it is beyond what most of you have ever truly felt.

If you ever say that you love someone, make sure that you need them to be happy in order for yourself to be happy. When they're even a little bit down, you feel just as down as them.
If you ever say that you love somene, make sure that you know that it is not a feeling that's just going to go away. It just changes meaning from relationship love to friendship love.
If you ever say that you love someone, make sure you will do anything for them and to be with them because love is completly
SELFESS.

don't be selfish.

Live by this quote..

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."- Robert Heinlein

..very true.

Thanks to anyone who listened to my ranting :)

said it's strange cos I feel the same

2006-05-31T17:38:18Z

Today went by fast I guess, which is good
right now i'm in the media center with aaron, zack, and pat and it's last block.
Earlier today me and ashley tried to like hang out in the art room cos we had to do a project
connell was in there but the lady came in and was like "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! LEAVE"
and ashley has like anger issues so she like flipped out so the lady thought she was nuts and walked her back to study haha
After school I get to see Dave cos he got out today :) I can't wait to see him<3
I'm so mad that i forgot to bring my cigarettes to school today, i have two fucking packs.
Lights and Reds
all i want is a buttttttttttt :(

And this entry is really pointless
i'll most likely delete it tomorrow?

JUST DON'T FALL INTO THIS HOLE THAT I'VE CREATED

2006-05-25T15:32:36Z

SATURDAY:
I went to starland with Mark, Siobhan and Catie.
we played laser tag and went on the go-karts
me and mark are nasty. we kept fishtailing and goin' nuts 8)
but starland doesn't have bumper boats anymore, so they're lame.
After starland, me and catie went to my house and deb and caiti came over
Catie left with chris eventually and we waited for like 5 miserable hours to get a run, but couldn't.
Deb went with alex at like 10. so me and caiti went to tom's.
it was just us and this other kid. we drank and smoked
it was fun. we got home around 1-130
I told cassy to be home by 1 but of course she got home around 2
we got to talk for a little while and then she passed out
i for some reason could not sleep, so i made colleen take a cab over at like 4am haha
i don't really remember much after that but whatever.
SUNDAY:
I went to the beach with catie, chris, dennis, and shawn.
I saw mini-megan while i was there :) i never see her.
she invited me to go to the cliff party that night but eh, i didn't go.
we ate and then walked over to the other side onto the rocks
we took pictures and i got like thrown into the water and then dragged out
it was SOOO cold :(
but I had fun.
after we left, catie went home and i showered at chris'
and then chris dennis and me drove into boston to see dave<3
we got horribly lost in cambridge, but eventually found our way
I bought him like a 12lb bag of candy worth like 30$ and 2 movies and a wicked cute card :)
I didn't get to stay long but I'm glad I got to see him.
We left and I slept in weymouth.
TODAY:
Kevin picked me up around 12 and we went to taco bell
and then us and chris and catie went swimming in my pool at skyline
then we went back and watched "dude wheres my car?"
then steve scott and ashton picked me up
we went to steve's and waited for colleens dad to drive us into boston
yeah, I got to see dave .. again <3<3
:)

So that's all I have to say for now
I'll write more if I have to..
PEACE EZ

rob loves little boys

2006-05-23T14:51:14Z

Right now I'm in tibbet's room with rob and ashley
and I'm having the worst cramps.
Last night I got to talk to dave, I have his room # and he has a laptop with him.
He gets out in about ten days
So I found out that I finally got fired! :)
I'm gonna go look for a job thursday with ashley. we're gonna go shopping too
Today after school I'm gonna go look for a job too, but in weymouth.
I think I have mono.
I've become so tired and light-headed. I pass out all the time
it sucks.
I wanna go to the doctor's
Well anyways, today's the senior's last day. kinda sad
I'll miss 'em

But i'm gonna go play pac-man :)
PEACE &hearts;

now for a tall cool glass of Pie-Monade

2006-05-22T12:22:12Z

Bis-Cas-Fri - I had work 'til about 8 and then chris and catie picked me and dave up. we went to jeff/kelly's house and there were like 30 people there. kevin, mike, greg, connell, derek, chris, brendan, matt, dan, julian, R.P., billy, nick, paul and a lot of other people. This kid billy who supplied my cigarettes all night was soo cute. he looked just like Jesse McCartney, he was nice :) i can't remember everything that happened and even if I did I probably wouldn't type it anyway but it was a lot of fun.
I ended up going to sleep around 6 and my mom picked me and catie up at 9.
I was supposed to work the next day, but I fought with my mom and ended up walking from like McDonald's back to kelly's. When I had first left the house, it was TRASHED but when I got back it was cleaner than it was before it was kerazzzy. there were 7 trash bag's full of alcohol. Dave was still sleeping when I got there so I just went back to sleep with him. Chris and catie eventually picked us up around 2? and then we went out to eat at IHOP and then we went to Don's for a new slide for chris' bong After we went to the mall and dave got me new sunglasses, earrings, and a shirt. we went to chris' later on and met up with ashton and scott for awhile. then everyone went home and it was just me dave and chris. me and dave went to bj's around 3am and smoked out of "the lung" and then just slept.
sunday we took a cab to the movies and we were gonna go see the DaVinci code cos there was NOTHING out but it sucked so we left early and he took me out to eat at T.G.I.Fridaysss :) colleen and steve showed up and then my mom picked us up and we went shopping, then bourne.
Dave is leaving for three weeks and I'm really really upset about it :(

My question of the day:
What the hell is bologna made of?
I'm pretty sure it's made of moose fat and baby piggies.
Definitely not speedo.

“Love is the hardest habit to break & the most difficult to satisfy.”

2006-05-18T14:00:51Z

Yesterday I had work, i'm surprisingly not fired. derek bonzagni and rob told me that they're wicked desperate for employees so they most likely won't fire me. now i can skip werk all the time ;) ha.
dave was at my work yesterday when i got out. we went to mcdonalds to meet up with ivan, scott, and steve. later ivan drove us to bugaboo creek where we sat in the parking lot and smoked (well i didn't really), took pictures, and got yelled at by an old lady
I went home at 9:30, showered, then passed outttttt. i was exhausted.
Today I don't have work but i don't know what i'm doing yet either. I really wanna go to the mall and shop goddamnit. i need new clothes, a new purse, new makeup and all that crap. I need to look for a new job too cos i'm sick of working at shaw's, they suck.
I have no idea what's going on for the weekend. Catie told me her friend Kelly's parents are in texas for the weekend so i'm welcome to sleep there. + I already have a bottle of So Co so I can get nice and shitfaced :) dave's gonna stay there too. if she says otherwise i'll beat that bitch upppp haha jk. i have no idea who this girl even is.
Any plans for saturday? Leave 'em here ♥

I could die for the words you say.

2006-05-17T17:38:36Z

Today I have work but I'm not even sure if I still work at shaw's. hopefully I got fired cos I didn't go the last 2 days I was supposed to.
dave's going to best buy today for an interview, I hope he gets the job .. I hope I get the job there too. that'd be sweeeet
+ he's not going away, at least not for a long time :)
I'm gonna try and go to the mall and put in more applications. like to aldo and bakers and like easy/gay stores like that.

Right now i'm in the media center with paddles and aaron. Aaron is like a dog with ADHD haha. We're talking about that homeless man in california that licked 4 boys' feet. he promised them 1500$ and a spot on a Johnson&Johnson commercial but he had to "inspect" their feet first. people are fucked, eh?

so whatsup for the weekend? anything good going on?
if it's nice weather, i want me, deb and ashley to go up to bourne, drink, swim ,take krazy picutres, and drink some more :D :D

♥

it doesn't even feel liek friday, ugghh

2006-05-12T17:47:58Z

right now i'm just in mr. tibbets room, as usual
trying to get past damn web blocker and learning how to photoshop pictures
and doing my like 12 page report on John Lennon .. wicked kool
today afterschool marks driving me home so i think i'm gonna go and sleep til 5 cos I have work and i slept from 4am to 6am last night
yeah .. never doing that again..
but anyways i get out at 10. either dave or chris is picking me up and i'm just gonna say i'm staying at catie's or something so i can just stay out all night
anyone wanna join? gimme a call.
i lost 40$ yesterday and steve still owes me 60 god damnit.
i'm gonna call colleen now and see if she's found my money yet
saturday i'm FINALLY getting my phone fixed in the morning
i can't wait to text everyone and be like I CAN TEXT AGAIN!ASDFJ@#%YHGHJSDF@#$&^*
after that i have work though, boo.
i think gunnar is having people over, gettin' the old crew back together :) If that doesn't happen or whatever there's a keg party in randolph and an after-prom party @ someone else's house
either way i plan on getting really fucked up this weekend cos i have to work on top of it and i LOATHE working

i guess that's all. i have to get back to work ..
bye

For all the ones who've left...there's a few that stayed.

2006-05-10T15:27:21Z

It's lunch block right now and I'm in mr tibbets room. I've slept threw my last 4 classes and i'm still tired. I have work today from 5-10 but I'm leaving at 7. or I might just go in at 3 and work til 7. I don't know yet cos I wanted to hang out with deb afterschool too since it's her day off. It all depends on what my boss tucker says, i'll call him at like 1 i guess :/
This weekend there are like 6 dif. parties going on.
1) the space 2) b-rock's kegger 3) shroom party 4) gunnar migiht be havin' a party 5) the cliff and 6) some gay weird party in quincy
I'm wicked excited, I'm def. not going to work on saturday. My mom wants to go out to dinner with me and dave so she can actually like meet and talk to him bcos she hasn't yet. dave was actually like wicked excited about the idea? john wants to meet steve with colleen too so we're gonna have this big thing. can't wait for the MOST AKWARD dinner of MY LIFE. haha

the other day me dave colleen steve and bret all went to the quincy carnival! it was so fun :) dave spent like 60$ winning me like 12 dif. things, i love him. All the weird carny's let me play for free but i sucked and lost horribly aah well. bret was hilarious though, he hurassed all the carnys then when he drove me home he literally drove me to my door .. he drove on the grass and almost went threw the fence hahah. kerazy kid

that's it for now I suppose.
G♥♥DBYE

i lose sleep just to daydream about you baby

2006-05-08T15:09:48Z

FRIDAY:afterschool I had work til 8, it wasn't that bad cos i was working with derek and his funny-ness makes time go by quicker. Then jay and dave came into my work so I clocked out and went to Mcdonalds. EVERYBODY was there. eventually mostly everbody migrated to the cinco de mayo party at the cliff. I really didn't wanna go cos I hate the cliff but I wanted to drink so I went there to get free booze. later on that night, a huge fight kinda broke out and I got mad and flipped out on everyone and went home
SATURDAY:I got woken up at 6 in the morning by dan steve colleen and c-nikki. we dropped nikki off and then we went to dan's sister's cos no one was there. we drank 3 bottles of arbor mist and i drank all the beers. we played a bunch of drinking games but it was like retarded cos we didn't have enough beers, i'm the only one that drank them. things got weird after that and everybody went to sleep til like 1 then i didn't wanna be tehre so me steve and colleen walked to braintree from weymouth to meet dave cos his car died :(
my grandfather saw us on the way and drove us to him, thank god. i was listening to dane cook on my ipod so steve and colleen kept calling me a retard cos it looked like i was laughing at nothing at times. we went to steve's step dad to see my husband ;) haha. we got a ride to the braintree square cos we were meeting dan and nate there. he drove us back to dave's car cos he was going to a poker game. and then we went to my house for awhile and watched movies and hung out with scott and ashton. she was rolling and it was her first time. she was fucking hilarious "no more mwah's i need to make my straw music" haha
so she couldn't stop moving so we took a "roll-stroll" we went to mobil but she kept walking so her and scottie just left. catie and chris called and they wanted me and dave to drink with them but we were with colleen and steve so that wouldn't be nice considering the other night, ya know? so we just sat there mostly. saw pat matt deb ashley khiry and alex at mobil. me and dave got into a fight about JP .. i locked him out of his car and like cried in there with colleen. but we talked about it later online. it was an emotional day haha
And I don't even feel like typing about sunday cos I didn't do anything but work mostly and I'm way too tired to type.

TODAY: I have nothing to do, I'm gonna call kevin after school .. we're supposed to hangout whenever he's available which is like all the time now cos he doesn't go to school haha

P.S. someone put sweet and sour sauce in my purse yesterday and i tried to spray the smell with my vanilla thingy .. so now my purse smells like an asian's laundry room :( :(

h0nest_xregret @ 2006-05-03T14:01:00

2006-05-03T18:00:19Z

"If I stop today, it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade me if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it."

"It kind of creeps on you and catches you in a world that's ..y'know, none that anyone will ever know except someone that has been there."

- Gia Carangi -
icon

my heart was yours. it took 10 weeks to shape it. in 1 night you murdered it

2006-05-03T14:17:57Z

i've got like 5 minutes to write this entry but i have nothing to do so here it goes..

yesterday i went to school and then walked to work.
before i left school i went to the bathroom to change and colleen was in there?
she said she was skipping PM so she walked with me to work and she met up with steve
they had me push carriages like a million dif. times at work
really aggrivating bcos it was cold and shitty out
but steve and colleen visited and stole carriages from my work
steve was like "listen, ill bring it to scott's house and you can say you had to go get it so you could put it away"
i was like steve .. you are retarded
soo work got better towards the end cos there weren't many people there and derek is fucking hilarious
after work colleen was like "Walk to the mall"
so i was in a bad mood for having to walk in the rain
and to make matteres worse, a huge truck drove by and SOAKED ME
luckily, dan called and was like "hey hun where are you? STAY THERE!" so he got there in like 20 seconds and threw all his warm/dry clothes at me haha. he's a sweeeetie
we picked colleen and steve up a little after that
and then we went to some kid's house and then i just went home cos i was exhausted.

i found something out about JP that i really didn't want to know also
and apparently everybody knows, at least nobody important knows cos i don't wanna have to explain myself
things keep coming up that remind me of him or past situations and i really don't want to be reminded of those things :/
aah well, nothing i can do about it i guess

today i have work from 5-10. so i think i'm just gonna go home and nap or something before i have to go in
i didn't get to see dave yesterday and i'm not really gonna get to see him today except he was like "i'll get you from work and drive you home tomorrow"
so at least i'll see him :)

i still have all of dan's clothes and dan still has all my clothes haha so when i get out of school and when HE gets out of school (cos 22 yr olds go to school? ).. he's gonna come over and get them. i don't wanna give him his sweatshirt back though, its so comfy
oh well now i have to wait for him before i can take my nap >:O
boo.

But some things never get better .. like used cars and bad livers

2005-05-18T01:12:58Z

so the school unblocked livejournal ..
bitchin'

i'm gonna start writing in this journal again
not just during school time, for thoughts as well
or maybe not, whatev.

I don't have anything to say
so bye for now♥

"i'm not addicted to drugs. i'm addicted to glamour"

2005-05-08T21:01:05Z

friday - gunnar's "party" so I took his bus with Dave and rob. We went to his house and dave went to rob's for a little while. They came back, me and gunnar smoked out of his hookah. him and rob played dumb video games and dave had on the broken boxing gloves cause he's tougghhhh. hahaha but he did something called "lobster claws" and it was the funniest thing i thought i was gonna die laughing. so then all of went on the porch and brook got dave in trouble so dave went to meet him at papa gino's and rob tried to teach me how to throw a "proper punch" Smoked again, Marissa b, ashley, brook, and keith showed up a within those 10 minutes. then ally and jill called and they had gotten lost somewhere in the woods cause they thought they could find a shortcut so dave brook and rob left to go look for them. they eventually got there within time. Mike stopped by just to say hey. Then it got really cold so someone made a fire on the porch so me marissa and ashley were like huddling over it. I thought something was gonna catch on fire cause rob's an idiot. marissa and ashley left and the rest of us went in his room. Dan came, smoked. Then sarah and emily showed up a couple minutes later. Then colleen came like 20 mins. later. then his cousin, blic, and his friend scott came over. Smoked again. then me colleen dave brook and keith walked to dunkies and papa ginos. We ate our dinner at papa ginos haha i was surprised they were open that late. the walk back was horrible it was so windy. got there, smoked. i remember i said something really stupid real quietly and sarah was right next to me so she just laughed at me hahah it was funny. around 11 my mom picked me and colleen up we drove to bourne UGH I was so tired in the car and I didn't want my mom to know I smoked cause it makes her sad so I tried SO hard to stay awake. as soon as we got there i got a diet coke turned on some movie and went to bed.

saturday - went to the kingston mall with colleen from like 3 to 430 then 'TheJohn' drove me home and I got ready. Colleen bought me Party Monster which I've been dying to see cause all Katie did was talk about how good it was haha <3 so I finally watched it while I was getting ready, it's a really really good movie I liked it. EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT, NOW. I decided not to be lazy and I trooped over to Chris'. Before I was gonna leave though dan calls me and was like "bring me over some snaaacks!" haha so I brought a bag of goodies for the kidds. Peter, dan, joe, ashley and me all drove to BK cause they had a bad case of the munchies and then we drove to meet Ryan at Faxon to buy some budddd and went back to Chris' to shmoke. I had on my new pair of sunglasses I bought. and ashley took a picture of me smoking and we thought I looked like Michael Jackson. hahaha we sent the picture to like 7 different people, oh mannnn it was THEE funniest thing ever. Dan fell asleep on ashley and Peter fell asleep next to me. We got kicked out at 11. so after driving around a little bit they dropped us off at Ashley's. I ate so many sourpatch kids :) and then ashley turned on Freddy vs. Jason and she said I wasn't allowed to change it and i had to watch it. but I got scared and just decided to sleep.

sunday - it's Mother's day. so I went to my nana's with my mom, aunt and great grandmother. Haha we all drank cause they're alcoholics then went to Vin & Eddies for lunchhh. It wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. they're all pretty funny characters. I got to talk to Joseph today too <3 I miss him so much I told him to come down here and pick me up soon cause it's been too long. I hope he does. My mamadukes bought me hair dye. Blonde and black, i'm thinking of streaks. Too tired to do it today though so eh, whenver I get around to it. I kinda feel bad cause I didn't get my mom anything for Mother's day but we do have this spa day planned for the end of may. I still feel I owe her a lot.

well anyways, I'm bored. I have to call Mike and then I'm probably gonna watch Party Monster again. :)

<3 comment

Faaack braintree doooood

2005-05-04T18:33:46Z

okay braintree high officially BLOWS.yesterday they kicked colleen out because she "lives in weymouth" which is gay cause she's usually at my house on weekdays. they've been following her around for the past month and took pictures of her car and they went to the police department and all this stuff so they told her she has to be gone by today .. and she wasnt here today except i let her in the back door at lunch time to say goodbye to everyone . that is so fucked up. they won't even let her finish out the school year, cause it's illegal. fuck them i hate that school. so I guess we're both going to Bourne High next year cause now she has no where else to go and I'm not letting her go there by herself. but i have no idea where she is gonna go for the rest of the year ..

last night I went to the gym with melissa and nean. worked out for a good hour and a half. then sat in the steam room for a good 20 minutes hahah
I came home, showered, ate dinner, talked on the phone then took some ambien and slept for 10 hours :) :)

this morning I also took ambien and had math first and absolutely FLIPPED out in class about colleen getting kicked out .. for like no reason either, i was just freaking out and screaming and stuff. ashley kept turning around saying "amanda calm down. its the drugs bla bla bla" hahah i made myself look like a jackass but that's okay.
english, i slept
science, we made paper airplanes ?
gym, walked around and talked to lexi <3 i love that girl haha shes so funny
history, watched the people in my group work and listened to gary sing all class
spanish, slept & watched some of The Incredibles
study, talked to Chris and Zack all period .. mostly about 15 lb hamburgers that they have in Penns. hahah <3 and my ass still really hurts cause BJ's a jerk and decided to smack me with his book.

also, tomorrow is gunnar's birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!<3

well i'm gonna stop typing now i'm tired. comment

" yew sicko ! "

2005-05-02T22:00:58Z

okay well today I went to school late and got dismissed early :) :) Today was my appt. with Bourne High School. Me and colleen met with Mr McCarthy, my guidance counselor, and he told us about the levels, the classes, and all that fun stuff. and then we walked around the school. It's not too big, it's got 3 floors. It's school colors are purple and white. Their gym is so small and so is the cafeteria but the auditorium is like freaking monstrous and it is sooo nice in there. And everyone was really friendly except there were a couple girls that gave us dirty looks in the halls and stuff but whatever. the guys were cute :). and only FIVE classes a day, school ends at 1:45. that's so kooooool.
There's about a 75% chance I'm going there next year but there's still no final decisions. I'm gonna look at the pro's and con's of BHS and .. BHS ;) haha kerazy. I wanna like go to bourne high for a school day to see what all the kids are like so i'm gonna try and do that but if not I can always go there and come back to braintree if I don't like it. and it's not like I won't ever be in Braintree cause my mom lives there.

I know it's early notice but just so everyone's prepared haha * On june 18th, colleen's having a party here in bourne and everyone is invited. Any details, i/m me or comment, okeeeeeeee

Oh! and our pool should be done by this friday :D! i'm so e'cited.
anways .. this weekend I think I'm doing something wtih dave on saturday so if anyone wants to do something friday, let me know :)

bye. <3

"i thought in china every meal came with rolls. like isn't it fucking mandatory or something?!"

2005-04-30T19:26:53Z

okayyyy so this school week kinda blew cause ihad to make up about 6721853907432 tests and shtuff because i missed a lot of days. but after school i went home, cleaned, fed my kitties, slept and then went to ashleys around 630. she had a gram and then we pinched her mom's bag haha so we had 2 grams. we went up to East middle school to smoke. after we smoked i thought i heard something in my brain like pop so i geeked out haha it was so funny. then we went to the pits. val, ray, will, tom, jack, ian, mike, cal, this girl emily? i think .. i can't remember .. and a lot of other people were there, some i didn't even know. anyway we had a couple beers and most of val's 40. we matched with someone. i was wearing ashley's sunglasses all day too haha except ray kept taking them from me. i can't really remember what we were doing i just remember tom kept being so funny. ashley was like trying to get a ciggarette and tom didn't want people knowing he had some so he was like "OMG! I HAVE LOST MY WALLET." he was so drunk. after that people wanted to go fight this kid kevin so a bunch of people left to go to his house and me ashley val tom and cal walked to mobil. ashley and val went into the bathroom and were in there for a good 20 minutes so cal kept kicking and hitting the door. then we saw ian again and tom and cal left.
me val and ashley started walking to ryans to see if val could stay there cause she had no where to stay. when we got there joe, ray, will and some one else whos name i cant remember was there haha. val couldnt stay so we walked to maria's? i think? idk that like restaurant next to val's .. we sat inside cause it was cold then walked to that chinese place and we got some chicken.
yeah i swear we're not weird .. anyway after we got chicken we walked behind some like abandoned building and sat on top of it. it was a lot of fun. we are all such weirdos when we are together. anyways .. after that, derek and dan picked me and ashley up and val went home.
derek drove us to nantasket beach. we sat there for awhile and he rolled some purple haze :):) it was dan's mom's car so dan didn't want us smoking in it so we were gonna go to some motel place and rent out a room cause derek said he knew some place for like a 30$ deal? some dif. guy was working though and was like "60$!" so derek was like "fuck you ya fucking liar." so we left .. dan and derek wanted to get chinese food so derek drove us to some place in quincy.
dan, being the mature guy he is, kept flinging rice at me so my shirt got all stained. the chinese guy came up to us and derek was like "WHERES MY FUCKING ROLL?" and the guy was like " you want roll?" and derek was liek "HELL YEAH I WANT A FUCKING ROLL" it was funny he was like "jesus, i thought in china every meal came with rolls. like isn't if fucking mandatory or something?!" hahaha i love derek, he's so funny.
after they ate, we went to derek's and we sat on his porch. we kept hearing like wolves or some kind of animal like that howling and i am so scared of big dogs so i'm terrified of wolves. i was freaking out.
around 120, derek drove us home. =/
me and ashley got in around 145 .. i don't remember anything else :) but it was such a really fun and adventerous night.

i don't know what i'm doing today though, so we'll see what happens?

pointless, short entry ..

2005-04-27T20:58:17Z

well today school went by quick which was good cause school blows. then after school i had a job interview. before I went in for my interview i had to fill out and sign a gazillllion papers, that said i'm not allowed to talk about my job cause i'm undercover hahah i'm so kool. I had an interview with Bob .. he was really nice, he said it's not a full time job but it's 10$ an hour and i get to travel all over the state too so it's cool. It's not a definite that I have the job but he said that I most likely will and he'll call me soon. I can't wait :) The interview was over by like 315 but I had to stick around the office 'til 430 to get picked up so I talked to this kid matt.. he's cool I guess. He had kerazy colored eyes, we talked about our eyes for like an hour hahah. and he really is like the stupidest person i know. he was filling out applications too and he was like we live in Norfolk county right? and iwas like haha yeah and he spelt norfolk - NOFOCK - and i was like uhm .. you might wanna fix this and he was like 'eh, im a bad speller.' he didn't even bother to fix it. he spelt a bunch of other words wrong too .. he couldnt even spell quincy, the town he lives in! what a dumbass.
anywayssssss
when I got home my great grandmother was there because my mom just left for california so she's visiting. i love her, she's so cute. she's like 4 feet tall haha
right now rob, conor, andddd billy are over cause they were like waiting outside my grandparents house when igot home? so we're just catching up on the good ol' days of when we were like eight and all we did was play stupid games around our neighborhood 'til like 2 in the morning haha they're funny kids, i miss 'em.
okay well I'm gonna stop laughing and writing now :)

comment?

i want you to be free, don't worry about me ...

2005-04-21T02:51:04Z

okay well today I finally got back from Hawaii after a horrible TWELVE hour plane ride.
Colleen came over like 10 minutes after I stepped into the door. Matt, sean, johnny, regz, steve, peter, and a bunch of other kids like that were outside my window like playing with sticks? cause they're so mature so we talked to them for awhile and then they left usss :( I got a lot of people gifts but everything was so expensive so i'm very sorry if I didn't get you something, we just must not be thatt ca-lose ;)
I went to the mall tonight with colleen, we saw dave, brook, myles, morris, myles friend?, deb, alyssa, noble, cosme, jaimie, jimmy, and a few other people. me and colleen ate at the 99 but I didn't eat much cause I didn't really feel good so we went to Circuit city and got stalked by some weird guy? so I callled me mama and got picked up.
okay well i'm talking to lisa, dave, brook, noble, and chris online. ashley val dan and larry are supposed to call me back so? i'll see how that goes ..
I talked to steve last night too and I guess he has to go to court tomorrow which sucks so I hope everything goes okay with that.

But yeahhh .. I've yet to see like anyone so far soooo tomorrow does anyone wanna do something or maybay saturday? I've already got plans for friday to see my katieeeee :) yay! we're gonna have a crazy time and hopefully get something that I've been trying to get for a friend. okay anywayss .. leave plans and comments =D

<3

h0nest_xregret @ 2005-04-18T15:30:00

2005-04-19T01:25:11Z

okay i'm in hawaii right now and it's actually going to be my last night.
when I was here I went snorkling, swam with a dolphin, saw a sea-lion show, went surfing/boogie boarding, shopped, andddd lots more. it's been a lot of fun but at this point i'm just burnt, tired, and homesick.
and to everyone that doubted it, i actually did tan. haha i just hope it lasts the 12 hour plane ride home :(
anwaysss I hope nothing too exciting happened without me.
I talked to colleen, ashley, catie, chris, bj, rafal, claude, ian, rob, cosme, val, and katie while I was out here cause they callllled me which was nice. I really miss everyone so everyone has to hang out with me the second I get back cause I said so :)
well ths keyboard blows, i'm gonna go

PS ;; I learned my hawaiian name .. AMANAKA
woah, cool?

<3<3<3

im going swimming with dolphins.. WOOOO

2005-04-12T20:09:20Z

okay sooo i'm going to hawaii in like 6 hours? i'm soo excited and i'm gonna try and get everyone, well people im close with, suveniors? yeah okay i can't spell, kill me.

i got a pedicure over the weekend, their hot pink .. you know you're jealous. and i just got my nails done today after school. all i got was a french manicure cause it goes with everything. anywaysss i finished packing last night and tonight im spending the night in georgia and then by tomorrow afternoon/night i'll be in HAWAII =D=D!!!!

well i guess i'll update if i have a chance there at the hotel or when i get back? or if i dont die? haha

leave me lots of comments pleeease :) and i'll have my phone too.. call maaybaay?

<3<3

me and alyssa are hairdressers

2005-04-07T22:23:53Z

school was gay, as usual.

after school deb and alyssa came over. we walked to walmart to buy hair dye. we bought some for deb and we were in the middle of dying her hair and then we ran out of tin foil. we called rafal and i even asked some neighbors but no one was there. So i called the pizza guy ;)
hahaha it was so funny i was like "can i get some tin foil?"
he was like what is this foil you speak of
i was like uhhh the aluminum kind? can i have some?!
i had like a 8 minute conversation with the mexican about tin foil? hahhah and then after like 10 minutes of waiting i called back and was like "uhm i just ordered some foil . when willl it be here" and the guy was like yeah he be there in 3 no 2 maybe even ONE minute and hung up. hahahah i love that place.

anywaaays moving on after we finished debs hair and took some pictuaaahs, we all got ready and I decided that I'm gonna go finish shopping for my trip to hawaii ;) which is in 7 days which im WICKKKED excited for and yeahh so i'm going to drop them off at the school soon so that's it for now i guess?

idk. comment <3

summer air reminds me of ..

2005-04-05T18:10:41Z

yesterday i had to take the last bus because it was my only way of getting home since my i'm not allowed on my regular bus anymore and no one could pick me up cause they all suck. Rafal, colin, deb and alyssa were on there I talked mostly to them. Rafal yelled at Lauryn and it was so funny. Anywayyys as soon as I got home I talked online for like 45 minutes then went to bed haha. i'm such a mess. I didn't wake up 'til 9 so my mom was like "are you okay? did you smoke today or something?" I really didn't though but she said that if I couldn't get back to sleep (last night) then I didn't have to go to school. and I didn't go to bed 'til 5 am. So now I'm home :)
I talked to Colleen and Kevin last night online for awhile. we had our own little chat room cause we're so cool. then I was sick of sitting here so I went to go watch SAW. Which is such a good movie, everyone should see it if they haven't.
So today I woke up at 1230 and all that was on tv was facking Ashlee Simpson so after watching like 2 episodes I couldn't take anymore of her annoying-ness .. I decided to play some video games cause i'm so mature, right? I got frustrated after like 10 minutes though so I decided to update my journal cause i have a life.
anywaaaays I think I might go to the gym tomorrow. Does anyone wanna come with me :) ??

i'll write back later.
comment.

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okay adding on __ some good news, some bad news.
bad news - i am not going to italy because the pope decided to be gay and DIE so yeahh, i can't go there.
good news - i'm going to hawaii!!! :) :) woooo
also some good news katie is back home and things seem to be going smooooothly.

COMMENT <3

and I just don't know where I can begin...

2005-04-02T04:23:01Z

went to the mall today, devyn lisa and cheryl picked me up and we went to jamies for a little. walked over to the mall, everyone was there tonight and i'm not naming everyone cause there were like 567315689183947 people and i am lazy.
I was supposed to go there with Coleman but hes gay? and couldnt go out 'til last minute and he actually WAS at the mall but I didn't get to see him .. bummer Haven't seen that kid in pretty much FOUR years.
Whatever it was a fun time I hung out with Spence and Rob towards the end of the night then colleen, morris, and dillon? i think? dinella was gonna fight dennis i guess but he wasnt there whatever. and I guess ian heard that i did something that I really didn't want a lot of people knowing so I hope it doesn't go around. and it's not what you are probably thinking so don't get any ideas about me it's not something bad or slutty or whatever just something that I didn't want to around.
Anyways I'm on the phone with Steve right now. he's pretty faacked up, haha. he keeps telling me to leave my house but i'm too tired and don't feeel like putting clothes on :) so i'll just talk to him about that shtuff tomorrow.
yeah so, i am not sure what i am doing tomorrow. i might have plans, still working on them though so leave plans or give me a call on my celllllll

that's all for now
Comment <3<3